My Apologies Accepted: An Excerpt

by | Jan 21, 2014 | Poetry

An excerpt by Bunny Rogers. 

***

The only way you can enjoy revenge is if you are insane

 

At the end of the book of your life you will flip back to the first page not frantically but calmly and you will repeat a loud but mumbled, “I must be in here… somewhere…”

 

Together together

Together problems of the past assort themselves by color

Dad’s gift becomes as wide and empty as dad’s lake and we find ourselves engulfed again

I can’t count on nothing

I blanket personal shames in symbolic family tragedies

I receive visitors like I’m terminal

“Problems of my past”

or my words should have never been said

Demons cast underground restart and say hi again

 

Love of my life

I slept on the left side of the bed

ignoring the male mosquitos on the wall and accusations from friends

I held tight to Radio’s little body

All your friends have gone and we miss you

they miss radio and his little boy

Male mosquitos are completely harmless and target oranges

I slept on the left side of the bed

ignoring the guilty as charged and just as stupid

I squinted my eyes and decided to exhale

 

Clown by association

I used to smile to say hello

shaking your hands wildly

echoing tree stump names

I’m married

I have kids

You’d be surprised

A book in my guilt and honor

embroidered titling

glass companion

 

You can’t squeeze blood from a shoe

You cant squeeze blood from a stone

other times I will resentment for the same reasons

then again my drug/alcohol use is on the upswing

you cant draw blood from a shoe

or anything that pulls back or spills blood

I don’t want a man that can be mean

or find me at the cause of his anger

 

A pile of scraps

You can kill the beast

in no way is it in danger of going extinct

You will not get the doll in this case

you cannot kill the Beauties

You can kill the beast

You wrapped both wings and you shut your eyes

She would not have run away

if you had not frightened her

You can kill the beast

You have to break each door open

 

Pip the universal collaborator, teacher figure

Teach me to be strong when the characteristics

Of my victim belong to a group I hate

Never-ending teardrops but no sympathy

I’m gross I’m so gross

Curb-destined in the company of smashing neighborhood pumpkins

You lay here

Your worst nightmare came true

Paralyzed in view of my face

 

R.I.P. Michael S.

I’m just so happy look

I don’t want to hurt people

But I have to

Michael rest in piece

Every nosebleed I have I’ll think of you

I don’t want to hurt people anymore

But I have, I do, I will

I have to

Michael rest in piece

Every nosebleed I have I’ll think of you

 

 

Photo By: Josh*m

About The Author

Bunny Rogers

Bunny Rogers is an artist and poet who lives and works in New York, where she is currently in residency at the Queens Museum of Art. Recent activities include a solo show at Appendix Project Space in Portland, Oregon; an exhibition, with Benjamin Asam Kellogg, at Sandy Brown, Berlin; and a multimedia installation at 319 Scholes, Brooklyn, with Filip Olszewski. A book of her poetry, My Apologies Accepted, is forthcoming from Civil Coping Mechanisms.