The cat passed away.
Can I say that? Like
a human. Unlike
a human, it dozed
on the windowsill
in a final sun. Heart
exploded said the vet,
or brain. There was
no cancer. We can say
no pain. The kidneys
were alright. Autopsies
have no time to fuss
with pet affections.
We must let them go
unexplained. The cat
passed in middle age
in cat years in the middle
of a dream, I’m afraid,
because it was a cat.
Some cats I never named
have strayed into my
heart. Stupid. I sneeze
when cats are clean.
Cats with habits
to rival my Virgo tics
have mastered the tops
of refrigerators, kitchen
cabinets, bookcases,
my beds. The white cat
my friend called jewel
in French, Bijou, died
on my keyboard, tongue
on the shift key, pee
on everything, peaceful,
while my friend was in
San Francisco. I saved
the cat in a mesh bag
used not to lose socks.
The calico cat unable
to mew broke its neck
lunging at the glass door
for a blue jay
on the other side.
And the fat Persian cat
went stiff orange
at the feet of my ex wife
nine months after she
divorced me. The voice
on the phone was almost
familiar: Thought you’d want
to know. I had no choice
but knowing. Others
I tried to love and keep
sat on my lap, watched me
type, bothered my single-
mindedness. Bit. Still others
went missing. When my day
comes, God let it be calm
in sunny isolation with dreams
of meat and sex. I want to die
like a cat: leave and do it.
Photo by Tom Mascord