An Excerpt from “The Girls Next Door”, originally published in Eleven Eleven.


Pink Playpen


This large bedroom is hot pink and organized. The Queen bed’s bright pink comforter is offset with sprays of black and white bunnies with bowties pillows. There is also a large Hello Kitty pillow. The pink mouse and pink computer monitor accent the pink desk. Inside the main desk drawer is a plastic baggie of bite size Mounds bars and two bottles of Tantalizer Body Bronzing Luminizer. There is also an unmarked bottle of pink pills and a pink diary with a gold lock. Inside the Control Clutter Closet are numerous glittering gowns and themed costumes, such as sexy devil and sexy angel. The closet is color and calendar coordinated. There is a large cat scratcher in one corner. On the bedroom wall is a poster of Hugh Hefner in the style of Andy Warhol, and another of a blonde woman in a Honey Rider from James Bond custom made Beach Bunny bikini, replicating Honey’s gun-to-hip pose on a beach in Jamaica. The posters give the flirty room a splash of joie de vivre.



Tomboy Boudoir


This bedroom suggests a sensual yet sturdy leniency. The eclectic furniture pieces are of varying types of dark wood. The four-poster princess bed has an unmade cream comforter and silk lilac sheets. Over the bed is a large black and white silkscreen of Janet Jackson, a men’s white t-shirt wrapped around her partially exposed breasts. The walls are lilac, and covered in sports posters placed casually with thumbtacks. Most of the posters are for the San Diego Chargers, and several are of individual football players with shiny muscles. There is a large flat screen TV set to ESPN, and a comfy leather cream couch strewn with size zero Guess jeans and Playboy baby Ts. There is a sequined thong hanging over the TV. The heavy curtains are drawn, evoking a sultry atmosphere. The beige carpet is stained in various places and covered in clothing and other items, such as a half-eaten Eggo waffle with cinnamon and sugar on it. There are barbells next to the waffle. There is a half empty bottle of Absolut Vodka under the bed, next to a scrap of paper with a phone number on it. The phone number has a Las Vegas area code. Next to these items is one in a pair of silver strappy high heels from Bebe, and a half-chewed dog bone. These items in combination afford the room a mood of negligent chic.



Twin’s Time Out


This vibrant, playful bedroom’s centerpiece is the original spinning round bed from the Chicago Playboy mansion, now spruced for youth with a pale blue fuzzy comforter from Delia’s, matching Playboy bunny head pillows, and various stuffed animals, namely dogs. The baby pink walls contain posters of Scarface, Johnny Depp, and Robert Pattinson. There is also a poster of two young, tan blonde girls in white men’s shirts, unbuttoned, with pink bras and tube socks. They have small breasts and are rocking out to Guitar Hero. In the closet are matching Playboy tank tops and skimpy dresses. On the blue plastic IKEA nightstands are two iPhones with pink rhinestone cases, some of which are missing. Inside the nightstand’s drawers are two bottles of JOE silicone based lubricant and Rabbit vibrators. The curtains in the room, which are pale pink with small blue bunny heads on them, are wide open. There are Converse high top sneakers, Cosmopolitan magazines, bottles of OPI nail polish, and Diet Coke cans littering the padded window seat. On the bed two blue covered Apple Macbooks are turned on to Twitter, as if their tech-savvy mistresses just stepped out to share a strawberry milkshake by the pool in corresponding Victoria’s Secret bikinis.




Photo By: Shawn Hoke